Back to School: How to Prepare Your Child

Getting your kids into the right mindset for back to school involves a combination of establishing predictable routines, managing their anxiety, familiarizing them with the school environment, and modeling a positive attitude.

Establish Predictable Routines. 

Anxious children and teens prefer to have a sense of control in their lives and do not cope well with a disorganized or spontaneous environment. Making life more predictable by establishing clear limits and routines helps them feel more secure.

• Sleep Routines: Re-establish a consistent bedtime and wake-up time, and maintain this schedule throughout the week, including on weekends. Create a relaxing 15- to 30-minute wind-down ritual before bed that happens in the same order every night, such as taking a warm bath, brushing teeth, reading, or listening to soft music. Bright lights, televisions, and electronic devices should be turned off 1 to 2 hours before bedtime. If your child struggles with worries at night, provide a "worry journal" by their bed to jot down concerns to address the next day, or schedule a "worry time" earlier in the afternoon to discuss them with you.

• Morning Routines: Practice morning routines for getting ready for school. To reduce morning stress, gather materials, pack the backpack, and lay out clothes the night before. You can create a "launch pad" area by the door where all school materials are placed so they are easily grabbed the next morning. For a fun and effective time-management tool, create a morning music playlist where certain songs cue different steps of the routine (e.g., brushing teeth), and when the playlist ends, the child knows it is time to leave the house.

Manage Anxiety and Build Coping Skills.

Transitions, such as returning to school from summer break, are common triggers for anxiety and challenging behaviors.

• Validate Their Feelings: Do not dismiss your child's anxiety by simply telling them "don't worry," as this communicates that they are doing something wrong by having those feelings. Let them know it is perfectly okay to be nervous and encourage them to share those feelings with you.

• Teach Relaxation Techniques: Help your child learn coping skills before they are actually in a state of panic. Teach them diaphragmatic breathing (deep belly breathing). Younger children can practice this by lying on the floor, placing a stuffed animal on their stomachs, and watching it rise and fall as they breathe deeply. Progressive muscle relaxation, tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups, is also a highly effective way to reduce overall body tension.

• Address Separation Anxiety: If your child struggles with separation anxiety, anticipate that drop-offs will be difficult. Develop a consistent, pleasant, and firm exit ritual. Give your child your full attention when saying goodbye, and when you say you are leaving, mean it; coming back or lingering will only make the anxiety worse. You can also let them take a calming object, like a small toy or a picture, to soothe them during the day.

Familiarize Them with the School Environment. 

Fear of the unknown can heavily impact a child's mindset. To ease the transition, encourage your child to tour the school before the academic year begins.

• Walk through their daily schedule with them, showing them exactly where their classes, lockers, the lunchroom, and the bathrooms are located, as well as where to go to catch the bus home.

• If possible, arrange for them to meet some of their teachers, counselors, or office staff in advance. For middle and high school students, you might even arrange for them to shadow a friendly older student who can introduce them to others.

Model a Positive and Growth-Oriented Attitude. 

Children take emotional cues directly from their parents. If you have a negative or highly stressed attitude toward the start of school, your child will likely adopt that same perspective.

• Stay Calm: Model effective stress-management. When your child becomes anxious or has a meltdown about school expectations, staying calm and in control of your own emotions teaches them how to effectively handle their own stress.

• Encourage a Growth Mindset: Focus on praising their effort, improvement, and perseverance rather than expecting perfection. Remind them that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and that making mistakes is a completely normal and necessary part of the learning process.

Set Up for Academic Success at Home: 

Creating the right physical environment sets the mental stage for learning. Request that your child help you set up a clean, quiet, designated "study zone" for their homework. This area should be free of clutter and removed from entertaining distractions like the television, cell phones, and the internet. Establishing this space before school starts communicates that you value their education and expect them to dedicate time to it every day.

About the Author: Lisa Palmer, Psy.D., NCSP is a Nationally Certified School Psychologist with over 10 years of experience in educational settings, holding a Psy.D. from Capella University and dual certification as both a Georgia School Psychologist (PK-12) and a Nationally Certified School Psychologist.